To blog or Not to blog

…that is the question. Additionally, to be gay or not to be gay? To be Mormon or not to be Mormon? To sell (the apartment), or not to sell? And what will I eat for lunch today?

Yes, my life as The Invisible Man is plum full of options. Each day as I wake (at whatever time I opt) I’m faced with choices. What to eat, what to wear, what to do, what to watch, where to go, in what order. I’m nearly paralyzed by my choices, which is why I haven’t blogged for awhile. Writing these posts takes at least the teensiest amount of brain power, time, and motivation, not to mention having something to say/post that is actually worthwhile.

If I post, will anyone care? Will anyone read it? Will anyone comment? If I don’t post, will anyone care? Why am I posting anyway? Is it for my own edification in “writing,” or is it for sympathy, or validation? If I’m posting only for myself, should I put personal observations about others there, even though I know that this *isn’t* a private diary, but a public journal that is conceivably available to millions of people each day?

As an example, I’m particularly cautious talking about Mark Foley, not because I’m not critical of him (though I’m not, not really) but because I’m nervous that people I know and love might find my thoughts and criticize *me* for them.

I hesitated blogging partly because I thought The Invisible Man blog was getting too Mormon a tone for me, for what I originally intended. And yet, I wouldn’t want to ostracize my Mormon friends, or my gay friends either. Someone without criticism is passive, and can hardly be seen to have high standards of moral or social behavior. I guess I don’t have high standards. I want EVERYONE to love me.

But if I type nothing, no one will know me enough to love me.

If you blog, what’s your motivation for it?


15 Responses to To blog or Not to blog

  1. Susan M says:

    I’ve always been someone who writes letters. With the internet, that switched to email and web forums. Now I can write one thing for everyone to read at once on a blog.

    I don’t write much about church stuff on my personal blog because my family (non-LDS) and a lot of non-LDS friends read it.

  2. TIM says:

    Oh, I agree about the emails. My other board, Sondheim and Us, was mostly started as a central “switching” area, so we could communicate in one place about what time the show is, where do we meet, etc.

    I started this blog as some kind of personal “therapy,” but then I want people to read it, but then I realized people were reading it, I better be careful what I say, and on and on.

    Ultimately, do I have anything of value to say on a blog? I’m not so sure.

  3. Susan M says:

    Well, I’ve enjoyed your blog so far.

    I’ve had to restrict myself a lot on my personal blog since my parents found out about it!

  4. TIM says:

    See what I mean?


  5. Sister Kathryn says:

    Hey, D, I know exactly what you mean. I guess that’s why I’m so wishy washy and I never respond on blogs or write anything meaningful – I don’t want to offend anyone. What’s wrong with us anyway?

  6. nbjd says:

    Hi TIM,
    Your blog has been a source of insight into the “gayman/mormon” conundrum. My son and I have been on a long journey trying to find an acceptable – to us – answer to the “to be or not to be” questions. So far, love and respect seem to be what gets us through the day.

    Thanks for putting yourself out there – you are anything but invisible – but don’t let that stop you!

  7. Kristine says:

    Hi D!

    I don’t know that it’s possible to make EVERYONE love you by blogging–so focus on the people who matter, like me 🙂

    I’ll read what you write, and I’ll love you regardless of your political, religious, sexual, or lunch preferences…

  8. TIM says:

    Thanks, all, for taking the time to read and comment. I hope some of you who are “invisible” will… come out, so to speak.

  9. Ann says:

    I was very, very excited to see that you have a blog…and a little disappointed when I saw the Mormon stuff. I think so highly of you, D. You’re strong and brave and true. I do so wish you would use your blog to tell us about yourself. Mostly this blogging stuff is all about people to me.

  10. TIM says:

    Hi, Ann! Welcome!

    One of the reasons I *paused* in the blogging, is that I thought it was getting too Mormon. My LDS identity is very strong, but I want all my friends to feel welcome. I’ll be doing more arts commentary, and more social commentary, in future. But my LDS friends and family really started me out with this blogging thing, so I’m including them, too, and I will continue to blog about LDS stuff, from time to time, although it won’t be as specific or voluminous as what you can read on Times and Seasons or By Common Consent.

  11. I’m glad you’re blogging, because I really love you, D. I think you’re smart and insightful and I like to know what you think about things, whatever those things are.

    I started my first blog, Outer Boroughs, because I wanted to write about politics, Mormonism and the culuture of politics and Mormonism. But then I had a personal crisis and Outer Boroughs started to feel as inauthentic as the rest of my life. After I came out though I wanted an outlet to write about my journey out of the closet and into a new life. So I started writing HURRICANE. At first I was anonymous, and then I used it as a vehicle for coming out more widely to friends. I think my blog is now in a period of transition (much like the rest of my life). It may survive, or it may not (the blog, not my life–I’m going to be fine!).

    But enough about me. I’m glad you’re blogging.

  12. TIM says:

    And I love you, Chris, and I’m glad you’re blogging, too. Which brings up a problem — I’m not able to respond at your site, anymore. I must have had a Blogger account, but I can’t remember it, and it won’t let me sign up for another with my current email, and there’re no anonymous posts allowed. I’ve been defeated over there.

    But I wanted you to know, as I guess you do now — I’ve essentially “come out” with my post above.

  13. I posted why I blog a few minutes ago, but it seems to have been lost into the ether. Oh well.

    D, I’m glad you are blogging. I love and respect you and I like to hear what you have to say about things–whatever those things are.

  14. Nevermind. There it is.

    D, I might loosen up on the comment policy on my blog soon enough. I’ve had some unpleasantness that I’ve been trying to defeat. I hate that I’m defeating you (and others) in the process.

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