Historically, TIM has had to remove all his clothes to achieve ultimate invisibility. This can have its drawbacks, though, particularly when living in a big city like New York. It’s cold and rainy here, and there are plenty of sharp objects on the sidewalks. Plus, it’s very hard to navigate the city without one’s glasses — one of TIM’s big hangups is that he’s practically blind without them.
But in 2006, TIM has discovered a way to be completely anonymous, yet fully and modestly clothed. He can walk around the city, or anywhere, without being slightly noticed. His style, called TIMStyle, is carefully designed and considered so that it’s the equivalent of no style at all.
TIM was once analyzed as a “winter,” meaning he should only wear cool colors, navy, and other colors that have blue in them, and pink. Nope. TIM only wears “fall” colors, all browns, earthy greens, and khaki. TIM wouldn’t be caught dead in pink.
TIM wears T-shirts, almost exclusively. Ones with pockets usually, but there are plenty without. No words, or design of any kind on the shirts, which are mostly khaki or gray-blue, with an occasional turquoise or yellow, or a little stripe that reminds me of a shirt a little boy would wear.
He also wears polo-style shirts, which are just T-shirts with a collar. These are deep forest green, deep burgundy, or black (slightly more “dressy”). TIM favors green clothes because they make his eyes look as green as Audrey Hepburn’s.
TIM wears these all year round, even in the winter, when he’ll pull on a black sweater over them (or a lumpy green sweatshirt). There are a few long-sleeved T-shirts for winter.
TIM’s pants are jeans, blue or black. Also khakis. In the summer, khaki shorts, which droop down so low they make TIM’s short legs look stumpy.
Only 2 colors of socks, white and black. In the winter, I wear white socks and sneakers most of the time, or black socks and black leather shoes. This summer, I’ve mostly worn my flip-flops, no socks.
On Sunday, the same black sportcoat, white shirt, and a nice tie (from about 25 ties), with gray wool slacks or khakis, black socks, shoes, belt. TIM owns some nice suits (like a brown Armani) which are never worn.
Underwear is exclusively boxer-briefs, white, gray, or black.
Umm, that’s it for TIMStyle, the ultimate anonymous wardrobe.
Similar to Early Stagehand, or First-Grader Chic.
What do y’all wear?